Three Tips to Stop The Blame Game [Vlog]

When boundaries are crossed, we’re often quick to react in a defensive way by pointing fingers. It’s easy (and, let’s face it… natural) to jump blaming someone else for not living up to our expectations.

“He obviously didn’t read the policies.”

“She didn’t pay on time, and I sent tons of reminders.”

“They made a huge mess in the lobby and didn’t even bother to apologize!”

What do these issues all have in common? It’s all about the blame game.

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve uttered the above sentences. (Well, at least the first time. The second one I’ve only had to say once, and once was ENOUGH. Thank. Goodness.) 

While it might feel good to put the blame on someone else, pointing fingers and getting frustrated doesn’t fix the situation. It just adds fuel to the fire. And it leads to the kind of resentment and anger that can seriously sabotage relationships.

Over the summer I did a lot of reading about leadership, having effective conversations, and wrestling with vulnerability. (Hooray for Brené Brown!) And it got me thinking… 

Yes, this takes practice.

YES, it’s worth it.

(I promise.)

Here are some tips that I’ve gathered to help you reduce your stress, diffuse the blame game, and be more productive in your business!

Three Tips to StopThe Blame Game: 

1. Reduce – Take a step back and make sure that you are calm before you engage. We want to *respond*… not react!
2. Diffuse – Make a list of questions that will be *helpful* for you to ask your client so that you can diffuse the situation instead of adding fuel to the fire.​
3. Produce – Focus on creating an outcome that is beneficial to both you AND your client. Keep your values and boundaries in mind… this always helps!

Want to know more about having productive conversations?

Check out Difficult Conversations by Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen. (Read these already? I’d love to know your thoughts about them here on the blog!)

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As always, thanks for tuning in…