Three Tips to Stop The Blame Game [Vlog]

Three Tips to Stop The Blame Game [Vlog]

When boundaries are crossed, we’re often quick to react in a defensive way by pointing fingers. It’s easy (and, let’s face it… natural) to jump blaming someone else for not living up to our expectations.

“He obviously didn’t read the policies.”

“She didn’t pay on time, and I sent tons of reminders.”

“They made a huge mess in the lobby and didn’t even bother to apologize!”

What do these issues all have in common? It’s all about the blame game.

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve uttered the above sentences. (Well, at least the first time. The second one I’ve only had to say once, and once was ENOUGH. Thank. Goodness.) 

While it might feel good to put the blame on someone else, pointing fingers and getting frustrated doesn’t fix the situation. It just adds fuel to the fire. And it leads to the kind of resentment and anger that can seriously sabotage relationships.

Over the summer I did a lot of reading about leadership, having effective conversations, and wrestling with vulnerability. (Hooray for Brené Brown!) And it got me thinking… 

… what if you could STOP the cycle of resentment, anger, and assumptions?
 
… what if we could STOP the blame game and have difficult conversations that were ACTUALLY productive?
 

Yes, this takes practice.

YES, it’s worth it.

(I promise.)

Here are some tips that I’ve gathered to help you reduce your stress, diffuse the blame game, and be more productive in your business!

Three Tips to StopThe Blame Game: 

  1. Reduce – Take a step back and make sure that you are calm before you engage. We want to *respond*… not react!
  2. Diffuse – Make a list of questions that will be *helpful* for you to ask your client so that you can diffuse the situation instead of adding fuel to the fire.​
  3. Produce – Focus on creating an outcome that is beneficial to both you AND your client. Keep your values and boundaries in mind… this always helps!
 
For more about these tips, check out this video: 
 

Want to know more about having productive conversations?

Check out Difficult Conversations by Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen. (Read these already? I’d love to know your thoughts about them here on the blog!)

If you enjoyed this vlog and you’d like to join in on the fun in one of our FB Lives chats, be sure to sign up with my chat bot to get notifications. She sends out the links 10 mins before I go live — so you’ll never miss out!

As always, thanks for tuning in… 

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2 Comments

  • by Broc Posted August 23, 2019 12:40 pm

    Hi Sara,

    I appreciate the executive summary from your weekly call! I was hoping you’d clarify for me whether you only dealt with late payment once in your career, or did you just handle it with blame the first time and then found a better way to take care of it subsequently? I’m lucky that no one has ever paid late enough to require a late fee, though I do have a couple of people whom I need to remind more than once. It’s a learning experience!

    • by Sara Campbell Posted August 23, 2019 1:09 pm

      Hey Broc 🙂 Figured you’d appreciate the summary! I don’t keep a running tally of how many times I’ve dealt with late payments, but I know for sure it’s more than once. Normally it’s repeat-offenders. In my experience, the blame game likes to rear its head every time we find ourselves having to enforce the rules… and it’s up to us to make sure that we don’t allow it to turn into a spiral of doubt and anger. Like you said, it’s a learning experience!

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